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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the parent of a SN young adult who participates in a similar program, I beg you to consider how your departure will affect your partner.  My kid has dealt with a lifetime of rejection and missed social opportunities due to her autism.  Why would you sign up for a program designed to help those that struggle and then back out as soon as it gets hard?  Can't you fake enjoyment for a couple of hours a month?  
If you back out, come up with a great excuse why you can't do it anymore, provide a time of transition, and know that you're probably leaving your partner scarred from yet another rejection.  Don't ever volunteer for something that involves this sort of personal relationship again.[/quote]

I am sorry for what you or your child have gone through. But with respect, I am the OP and have volunteered in this kind of role for decades. This [i]particular[/i] partnership is difficult to schedule for a host of reasons, leading me to contemplate finding a way to make a gracious exit. The person's window of availability seems to coincide with when my kids have stuff going on. She is hard to reach. COVID has been a factor. I really don't appreciate you telling me, or any kindhearted volunteer who gives of their time for free, that they are leaving someone "scarred" when we're doing things out of the goodness of our hearts, as if that is some kind of guilt-trip threat. We are allowed to have lives, conflicts, and to make changes if we need to.

You have no idea what the parameters of the commitment are, either, so suggesting someone "fake enjoyment" for a couple hours a month misunderstands the role and is also an insult to volunteers overall, as well as to the people in the program. The entire point of such a relationship is genuine kindness, not some kind of inauthentic fakery designed to reduce rejection. I'm not "faking" it.

More to the point, it's important to frame life changes and transitions as a natural part of life: not rejection. Resilience matters. Routinely flaking on someone or ditching them with no warning? Scarring and unacceptable. Transitioning away from a relationship that no longer works? It's life. Why on earth would you want to frame it as a rejection, when you could put it in a far more positive light -- it happens to everyone???[/quote]

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