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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can I ask how the selection process is? I mean do you get to see only the childhood photos, or current photos of the donor are also available. Do you just trust whatever answer they provided in a questionaire or is there more to verify. Also, was there a reason you did the donor cycle in Boston (are they better that other clinics in DC)?

Thanks[/quote]

We used an agency. We did it in Boston because we lived there at the time. I'm black and of course I only looked at black donors. There were very few. I was able to see photos of the women as adults and children and I saw photos of my donor's child. We picked an inexperienced donor at first, but that was a mistake. She did not fully appreciate how involved the process was and kept missing appointments. I probably don't have to tell you how disappointing that was. It set us back a few months. We dropped that donor and picked an experienced donor, who was absolutely wonderful. We based our selection on the following criteria:

1. We wanted an experienced donor.
2. We wanted someone who agreed to allow any offspring to contact her at a later date. 
3. We wanted someone under thirty to increase the chances of a successful cycle.

Aside from that, we were very open. I was very happy that she already had a child because I felt that she understood the significance of what she was doing. She was also a nursing student which also made me feel better about her understanding the process.

In terms of her medical history. She was very open about illness in her family. She had diabetes, hypertension and the typical old-age diseases in her family. Well, so do I, so I though that was ok. I had to trust her medical history because I really didn't have a choice if I wanted to go the DE route.

I didn't try to find a donor who was an Ivy league grad or a concert pianist. My donor attended community college, was studying to be a nurse and was raising a child as a single mother. That was a good enough character reference for me. My family is from the developing world (as is hers) and I understand that many very bright people have a modest education because of circumstances beyond their control.

Anyway, I just adore all of my children. I can't tell you how happy I am that I chose this route. The thought never crosses my mind that my DE children are not my children - even though they really don't look like me. Who cares? They are all so ridiculously cute!

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