Reply to Feeling kind of hurt but also paranoid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to require more of yourself right now. Your fiancé can go visit his mother without it being something negative or about you.

And for argument’s sake, let’s say she has asked him to come over so she can speak badly about you. Okay. There’s nothing you can do to stop it. It will be information that will help you moving forward. What will be most important is how your fiancé responds.

Until you know what it’s about, there’s no need to spend another second thinking about it. Don’t write the story that hasn’t been written. Have confidence in yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way, even if it’s difficult. [/quote]

Duh of course he can go visit his mother without it being something negative about me.  It was more of there being no context and a sudden change after all these years of us going over together to see her and now there is a completely different request.  He has gone over to see his mom without me before because I wasn't available or working late but she has never specifically asked him to come over alone before that's the difference.  It just threw me off guard that's all.  It was also more the fact there she asked this as if it was a run of the mill request and not like after many years something completely out of the blue.  There was no mention of, "Hey I know you and OP come over to see me together but I need help cleaning out the garage and I think going through your childhood things may bore OP I just want some mother/son time."  That provides some context.  It was just the way it was worded as well.  Like this is a completely normal request after years and years of me coming over.  No consideration to what I may think of this.

I understand there is nothing I can do to stop it if she is saying bad things about me but again I'm human and being I thought we were close and had a great relationship that would still be hurtful.  It isn't even a question to me that my Fiance puts our relationship as the top priority and would shut down any negative talk about me down no matter who it came from.  That isn't my worry at all.

But yes you're totally right I need to show more self confidence.  So thank you for that![/quote]

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