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[quote=Anonymous]The women in DHs life have always treated him like a child, their relationships very transactional. Growing up and in his teen years he was very helpful to these women, all single mothers. But everything they say has guilt attached to it, like, “I can’t believe you can’t drop everything and help me. All those times I dropped everything to take you and your cousins to the city pool as a child!” He was getting this treatment until just recently, and he is in his 30s now. After a death in the family everything sort of came to blows and he decided he wasn’t going to take the treatment anymore and cut off his whole family. He is once again speaking with his mother, but he’s treading lightly, but believes she’s changed. I’m wary, because after three decades people don’t just change.

He will be celebrating a milestone soon and his mother has offered to treat him to something in the $10k range. It feels like “love bombing”, or like something she can hold over his head again. He understands this and agrees with me, but at the same time, I think he is feeling overjoyed that his mother wants to “treat” him for once in his life. He can’t seem to grasp that, if history is any indicator, this gift isn’t just out of the goodness of her heart. Or, maybe it is! Wouldn’t that be nice! But that’s a big risk to take.

He keeps coming to me for guidance (Larla, my mom mentioned the $10k X again. I don’t know what to do. I keep telling her no but she keeps mentioning it. Etc etc.) I don’t trust her. I know he wants to trust her, he’s hoping she’s finally the mother he’s always needed. How do I guide him through this? [/quote]

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