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[quote=Anonymous]This is really hard to write.  Both my daughter  (8) and myself have gone through acute mental health crises.  She has had behavioral issues over the years (mostly inattentive or disruptive, but some aggression too), due in part to adhd, anxiety,  giftedness, maybe autism.  The behavior has gotten much worse with tantrums and anger at everyday demands and poor self esteem. I have severe anxiety and have since been dx with ADHD and OCD. I have been extremely rigid and even unkind with her over the years to try and change behavior so she could be more successful and to make things easier (less complaints/embarassment).  At times, home has been pleasant and happy and other times downright toxic. She has seen me become severely dysregulated on a number of occasions.  We are both in separate therapy, though she won't really talk. I don't know if it's family therapy or more parent coaching or what, but would appreciate suggestions on how to try and heal the relationship.  Books,  groups, therapies, etc. I am trying to stop the triggering statements and control my behavior, but at the same time need to be able to parent. Fwiw, my spouse and I are married. I see a lot of resources about absuive/ toxic parents moving out, but would like to try and heal.   I know change will be hard and slow.  I'm in a better place, but want to do all I can to help the relationship. [/quote]

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