Reply to How many of us are staying married for the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yup. They’re still in ES and other spouse has unmanaged mental disorders and anger issues. Maybe they’ll agree to move out some day and stop pretending to the outside world.[/quote]

I truly feel for you and respect you not leaving. If the courts don’t see things as you do, it could mean the kids having to be with your spouse without your protective influence.[/quote]

I stayed until it was unfortunately clear the oldest child was copying what little she saw of her father and his dysfunctional behavior and belligerent responses to any request or comment.  Then it was crystal clear I had no reason to stay, I could not protect or compensate for him, and that the children would have to become whatever they become.

Yes, courts don’t care about mental disorders or inattention or neglect or accidents.  there was no reason to fight for custody or continue to bring in doctors and therapists about what she needed (she likely has same disorder) or what he was.  She saw that he did whatever he wanted and now she does the same yet is barely in middle school.

Ironically my neurotypical other child asked me for years to split up and did not want to live with her “mean” sister. Dad only operates in a juvenile mode with them, for fun stuff and that is the extent of his relationship with both children. It is up to them to have the willpower to eat right, do their homework and get to practices on time when with him.
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