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[quote=Anonymous]His approach is entirely selfish, focused exclusively on what he wants without regard for your needs and concerns.  He is effectively saying that his desires are paramount, and that the relationship with you means less to him than his ambition to relocate now instead of in the future.  He could experience retirement in this area for the next decade before moving, but he probably sees that as a time when he'd mostly be alone in retirement while you are working.  Your different life stages are fundamentally incompatible because he has retired and you have not, a reflection of the reality of the disparity in your ages at this point in your lives.   His solution is for you to work less and to relocate where he wants to be, but the cost to you of doing so is very high - you are placing your future financial security at risk by braking your career early and by reducing your future employment and retirement income, with no assurances that the relationship will be enduring.  The cost and risk to him of your doing those things is zero.  He gets your companionship on his terms with no financial risks.

As hard as it is to make these kinds of choices, it seems objectively that you'd be better off risking not finding a replacement boyfriend than choosing to accept certainty of compromising your own retirement options.  You might instead wish him well in NC and proceed to look for someone closer to your own life stage (i.e., still working locally).  [/quote]

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