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[quote=Anonymous]I lived a nice life as a child and my mother was loving and caring for the most part (but she always had weird ideas about healthy living). She then gradually became a hoarder, and it made my life as a teen and beyond super miserable. She basically pushed me out of the house as her stuff was more important to her than me. I lived on my own since I was 19, and we had a strained relationship ever since I was about 9. 
I stayed away from my childhood house and from my parents in general for many years. I have recently started being more present, as they aged, and helping more. However my parents have so many issues it feels impossible to help them, especially as I live very far away.
My attitude towards them is a mix of compassion and irritation. 
Now my dad tells me that mom has gotten worse etc, and I caught myself hoping she would die quickly rather than the process being drawn out. I think I will feel relief as I will be able to finally take my childhood house back (it’s not a money thing, it’s worth very little, but more of a psychological issue). I dream about being able to clean it out etc.
However I think I may be wrong and her death might bring great pain.
Has anyone been in a similar situation where a generally loving but difficult/mentally ill parent passed away and you actually felt… relief? And not grief?[/quote]

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