Reply to How to get over traveling spouse resentment?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is easily the nuttiest part of your narrative

[i]While I was on maternity leave with the twins with many health complications, DH’s co-worker convinced him (referral bonus) to leave his current job and move over to the new company. The new job required 25% travel. DH was hesitant but excited and I was fully against this as we were already struggling finding childcare and no had other help. Against my wishes he accepted the new position saying that with the raise we could hire more help and his mom would come more often while he’s away as it would only be a 2-3 days max. The position is global so he is rarely available to help during the week until 7:30pm then works late into the night. Travel has picked up and he’s gone about 2 weeks every month.[/i]

How did that conversation even play out?

"I'm really excited about a new job that pays slightly more!"

"I am fully against this." *one baby hanging off of each boob*

"Ok, cool. I hear you and I'm doing it anyways."

I know you're looking for ways to get over the resentment, but I don't think I could get over that, OP.

Hope you're able to find some calm!

[/quote]

I was the one who wrote above about him having three options (change jobs, counseling, or divorce) and I agree with this.

When I clicked on this topic, I thought it was going to be more of the run-of-the-mill "we didn't realize how hard this would be/how impractical his travel would be until we had kids, now I need something to change and wants to stick with the status quo" type post that you see all the time here at DCUM.

But him taking the job against your wishes at that moment in your lives... I don't think I'd ever get past it. This is the first DCUM post I've ever seen that did not include abuse or addiction where I brought up divorce as potentially your only viable option. [/quote]

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