Reply to S/O being excluded from birthday parties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you don't invite everybody from one group to a party do you explain to the "not invited" ones why they're left out?

I was reading the other thread and lots of people are saying it was rude to exclude the girl and not say why so I'm wondering here if it's normal or expected to address the crowd left out.

Thanks for any insight. [/quote]

well, my dd recently made a guest list for her birthday party that excluded a girl who subsequently invited dd to her own birthday party the same weekend. we urged dd to reconsider, but she was adamant saying the other girl had a potty mouth and talked about poop and farts and she didn't want that kind of talk at her party. Keep in mind these kids are 7.

So, awkward, yes, especially since several girls attended both parties. Sure enough, come Monday, the other girl discovers her invitation wasn't reciprocated and marches up to dd to demand why. DD repeated, frankly, what she told us: That the girl had a potty mouth and thus wasn't welcome at her party.

Kids are so refreshingly honest, aren't they? On the one hand we were horrified. I'm sure the girl's parents despise us now. On the other hand, it was probably useful for the kid to hear that there are consequences for having a potty mouth.

[/quote]

I disagree. I would have made my child invite this child. Your DD is 7. Talking about poop and farts at age 7 is not behavior that one should be ostracized for. Now you've taught your DD how to ostracize kids who might be a little odd. That is not "refreshingly honest", it is bitchy and you are encouraging it.

How did the girl hear that there are consequences for her behavior? Did you call the mother to tell her, or did your snotty 7 yo tell her this on the playground in front of all the other kids?  [/quote]

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