Reply to In looking for a partner, I am more concerned about their “aesthetic” than their looks/education

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Reply to "In looking for a partner, I am more concerned about their “aesthetic” than their looks/education"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Now why is this so hard to find?[/quote]

Because you have a laundry list of things that are either strict requirements ("no mess whatsoever", "perfect teeth") or so subjective as to make it easy for you to dismiss anyone for virtually any reason at all. Like your requirements for someone who is fashionable and good at decorating actually mean "dresses how I want them to, has my exact same taste in decor." That's insanely limiting.

The other thing this list tells me is that you think your taste is *perfect*. This makes you rigid. You might meet someone and go in their house and see a piece of art or furniture you would never buy and think oh this person has bad taste they aren't for me." When instead you could be curious -- what do they like about this, what drew them to it? It allows you to get to know them, perhaps discover merit in a choice you personally would not have made. This is actually one of the best things about relationships, when your partner expands your horizons and makes your world bigger.

There is just no room in your priorities for people to be human and variable. I'm guessing you have very high self esteem and are looking for another version of you. That's really not how most relationships work. I'm not saying you have to be opposites, but if you ever marry, the person you marry will be different from you. That should be something you embrace, not resist. Otherwise, it's going o be a tough path to walk for you.[/quote]

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