Reply to How to deal with the anger? (exDH bailed not a great dad, sucky spouse)

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[quote=Anonymous]My ex suffered from undertreated depression and ADD. Both were diagnosed. He did not really try to find effective treatments (did not experiment with different meds and dosages, did not follow the suggestions of specialists, etc) until he left, now he is slightly better. He is very passive aggressive and really seemed to like the attention that the kids gave him for being sad and withdrawn. They would try to cheer him up, draw him pictures, sing him songs, etc. It was totally inappropriate.

I finally gave him the boot. He immediately got involved with someone else who has shared custody of her kids and who is a colleague, they narrowly missed being fired. There may have been some overlap, he lies all of the time (including to the kids) so it's hard to know. The kids are crushed that he lives part time with other kids. I am furious with myself for having kids with someone who is so selfish and beyond furious with him. He claims that the kids will be "fine". He does pay child support and sees them, takes them to things like dinner or the zoo. His main goal seems to be not to feel bad about anything he does, he equates taking responsibility with blame. It sometimes feels like he is a child in an adult's body.

What have folks done to deal with the anger? I feel like my kids would have been better off if I had been a single mom all along. His lying and unpredictability and keeping the focus on him all the time is really unhealthy. [/quote]

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