Reply to Help Me With My Dad - Keeps Disconnecting His Catheter Bag

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[quote=Anonymous]About a week ago my dad (79) was diagnosed with a medical issue that requires him to permanently wear a catheter.  He is supposed to empty the bag twice a day.  At the hospital they did a quick tutorial on how he should do this.  However, when he got home, we realized that he was having difficulty reattaching the bag to the catheter so I called his medical provider and asked that we bring him in to re-train him. My dad had a stroke about 10 years ago and does not have full use of one of his hands so we explained that he needed additional help/support. They provided this extra assistance and he showed them that he could do it before he was released.

During this past week, we realized my dad (who used to be a heavy drinker/quiet drunk type but had stopped) has resumed drinking again - he has several hidden bottles of liquor in his bedroom. As a result, he is often drunk and has been detaching the bag from the catheter, completely wetting himself and when we try to help him, he refuses our assistance. He has a relative who lives with him, who is at his beck and call but my dad also won't let him assist in detaching/reattaching the bag; emptying the bag - anything.  I hired a local nursing company to come by twice a day to remove the bag and reattach it and each time, the nurses call to complain he won't cooperate and that he risks infection and is going to kill himself if he does not manage the catheter issue appropriately. They have indicated that if he does not cooperate, he may have to be admitted to Adult Protective Services - I don't even know what is involved with that but my impression has always been that it is for abused and neglected elderly people.  I have looked into having him admitted to a facility for alcohol abuse but Maryland is one of the rare states that doesn't seem to allow us (his children) to do this without his consent and he would have to participate in intake. I think this is our best option - as I am thinking they will help him dry out and he will be better able to manage this process.   We (his kids) have talked to him multiple times, bribed, threatened, offered everything under the sun to get him to cooperate but he just won' cooperate.

When not intoxicated, my dad's mental faculties are fine - he has multiple advanced degrees, is a voracious reader and avid newswatcher.  He is mobile - although he is slow - he takes walks and likes to walk to the grocery store multiple times per day.  When we ask what why he keeps doing this, he just says, he doesn't like having to wear this bag everywhere he goes.  He has always been a strong, independent, physically active person.  The stroke obviously affected this but I think this last issue is just too much for him.  I really don't know what to do but something has to happen quickly.  I don't want him to die over something that I feel is fixable.  Thank you.[/quote]

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