Reply to I am an adult adoptee and an adoptive parent- ask me anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]adult adoptee here so my questions aren't totally random, not trying to rude or insensitive (I am Caucasian as were my parents)

did you ever meet your bm? [b]No, I have never met her. My bparents were married and had three sons already.[/b]

do you have any desire? [b]For a long time growing up, we never thought we *could* meet her as we thought there was no info to go off of.  Once we realized there was, I did start a search for my bfamily, but the trail is kind of cold. We know our  bdad died many years ago.  We don't know where our bmom is, or two brothers. If I could meet them, I would love to, but I understand if they wouldn't want to.  It doesn't consume me in any way- if it happens, great, if not, it's ok.[/b]

are your parents financially well off? [b]My parents were not financially well-off when they adopted us, but they are comfortable now.[/b]

Did you ever wonder what your bm or bf looked like or what qualities you share with them? [b]You know, I sometimes wonder what they look like, but then I realized that all I have to do is look in the mirror and then at my sister and I have a pretty good idea!  I think my situation is unique in that I was adopted with a bio sibling, so I've never had to go through life wishing I was genetically related to someone...I always had at least one person in my life.[/b]

You have a different situation since it's international but what is your opinion of close vs open adoption? [b]Well, I do know some Korean adoptive families who have as close an open adoption as you can get in, so it IS possible!  I know that the research says that open is the way to go and that it's more beneficial to the child (who of course is the one person you're supposed to be put above all else).  However, I'm involved in some adoption groups that are mostly domestic open adoptions, and boy, are there some complicated feelings all around.  I guess an open adoption is wonderful when everyone in the adoption triad is at peace with their situations and that there is no immediate "danger" to a relationship btwn the child and the bparents, but life isn't always clean like that, and there are some tricky circumstances.[/b]

I am very well adjusted, never, felt unloved (just the opposite)[/quote]

Hi to a fellow adoptee! I've answered your questions above.  Would be interested to hear your own take on things.[/quote]

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