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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL adopted and is planning to tell her child at some point (she's 2.5 now). My daughter is a year older and is getting very interested in family relationships (dad is not just dad but also Grandpa's son, etc), pregnancy and where babies come from, and her own birth story. So far if she asks about her cousin's birth or my SIL's pregnancy, I just parry the question and change the subject to something slightly different. But, down the road, if my SIL hasn't yet told her daughter about being adopted, am I obligated to lie to my daughter, since my niece shouldn't hear about it first from her cousin instead of her parents?  I really try not to lie to my daughter, but here I'm thinking the bigger picture trumps that?  Any suggestions about this?  Any suggestions for how to be supportive of my SIL, who says she's going to tell her daughter but who strikes me and my husband as reluctant?[/quote]

OP here.  Ooh...that's a tough one!  Really, it would've been best (imo) that your SIL would've been talking to her daughter all along about being adopted, but since that clearly  hasn't happened...I'm not sure how you should handle it! I guess my first thought would be to ask your SIL what she would like you to tell your daughter and see where that goes. But I do agree, your neice shouldn't hear it first from your daughter, even though I respect that you don't want to lie to your kid (and I agree).

No good answers from me...sorry.[/quote]

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