Reply to How do get my almost 4 year old to stop crying over every little no?

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Reply to "How do get my almost 4 year old to stop crying over every little no?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Extremely normal for a 3 year old. It's not "for attention". It's the only coping mechanism he has for dealing with not getting something he wants. Also, he's at a an age where wants and needs are fairly indistinguishable. He's previously cried for needs (food, a dirty diaper, comfort, attention to an injury, etc.). So he's doing that. Normal.

You explain the no. Does not need to be involved, can be as simple as "No snacks right now because dinner is in 30 minutes" or "No, we have to leave because it's nap time" or whatever. If he cries, you say "It's okay to be upset but the answer is still no." If the crying goes on, you can offer comfort or empathy (a hug or "I know it's hard to hear no") but you don't change the no to a yes.

With time, they get used to hearing no for certain things and don't get as upset. They also learn that crying can be a way to express sadness but does not automatically make you give them what they want, a very useful lesson. They also learn other coping mechanisms (like asking for a hug or making a different request or simple doing something else until they forget) and will do that instead of crying.

Your 3yo is not manipulating you. They may be attention seeking, but that is normal and healthy because a 3yo human is fairly helpless in the world and their ability to get food, shelter, emotional comfort and other needs is entirely dependent on their ability to attract your attention when necessary. Your job as their parent is to help them get those needs met, by both meeting them yourself and teaching them to get them met in other ways. It's not a trick. It's literally just parenting.[/quote]

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