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[quote=Anonymous]My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first baby in late summer/early fall, and SIL approached me about hosting her baby shower because I have the space and because I am not her relative (apparently her mother told her that it's tacky for a direct relative of the mother-to-be to host, but it's fine for an in-law to do so). I told her that I can't host her shower because I still don't do well with baby showers (see explanation below).

Now both my brother and SIL are upset with me. SIL said I am being dramatic and that I am selfish not to move on and not to be happy for her and my brother. She is quite upset with me, and my brother is only slightly less upset, though he didn't call me selfish.

The issue is that I am highly triggered by babies and baby showers. A little over a year ago, we lost our daughter due to a cord accident, and she was stillborn at 38 weeks. Five months ago, we lost another baby, at 18 weeks, due to Potter's Syndrome and Hydrops. My grief is still very raw for both losses, and I do not handle being around babies well at all. I'm hoping that will change a bit by the time my niece or nephew is born, but I am not there yet.

Does anyone have any advice regarding the best way to repair my relationship with SIL? I understand that it could just be hormones that are causing her to take this so personally, but I still want to repair this relationship.

Help?
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