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[quote=Anonymous]I have a family member that lives on the west coast whom I’ve always thought I was close with. We don’t talk all the time but when we do, we seem to connect on a level that isn’t about just about being related, but genuine friendship. As recently as a month ago we discussed visiting each other - we haven’t seen each other in person for about two years given the pandemic.

So I’m disappointed to learn that this family member - a cousin - is coming into town for a few days she apparently carved out zero time to see me or my kids. The only chance I’ll have to see her is at a gathering with several dozen people. She’s staying with family that I’m not close to so I can’t visit her at their home. She made a point of telling me that she’s got plans for seemingly every hour outside of the one event we’re both attending.

Is this a “tell me you don’t actually give a f-k about seeing me without telling me you don’t give a f-k about me” situation? Normally I wouldn’t take this sort of thing personally - it’s hard to cram everything in. But we haven’t seen each other for quite a while and the fact that she’s coming into town and didn’t prioritize getting together hurts. Clearly I overestimated my place in her life. That feeling is compounded by the fact that I was also one of the last people in the family to know she was visiting the area.

This whole thing makes me not want to see her at all. I’m thinking of forgoing the large gathering given there are so many people attending and it’s not like we’ll have any quality time together there. Also, not quite ready for large indoor gatherings, so there’s that.

Do I say something to the effect of, hey I would love to see you but it looks like I’m not high on the priority list of people you want to see. Catch you next time! … or something like that. [/quote]

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