Reply to Only offer to help your elderly neighbor if you mean it

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother thought she had a "village" thanks to false offers from neighbors of "call me anytime if you need anything." After I fielded enough "emergency calls" from mom over the years and her rejecting moving to a more appropriate setting (home would need total reno for age in place), we were advised to step back more for our sanity and to stop enabling. I only respond to real emergencies. So mom started turning to all those friendly neighbors. Over the past few months, 2 have called me complaining. One assumed because I lived in the area, she would never be taken up on the offer. I advised them to stop offering and let her know they are not available. One complained at how unappreciative she is. Welcome to my world. I let her know about all the complaints gently and she insists I am making it up. So they are on their own to set boundaries. She is of sound mind and no professional has been able to convince her to move because she thinks between me and all those friendly neighbors and me she is fine. Right now, she only needs occasional hired help when recovering from procedures, and she scares them off too. Some "sweet old ladies" like my mom just turn on fake charm, but will have no qualms about taking advantage of others and showing little appreciation. So please don't offer help unless you truly mean it. Be careful what you say because some people take "call me anytime" literally.[/quote]

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