Reply to How do "cool kids" become "cool"?

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[quote=Anonymous]I ask this with the full knowledge that there are many brands of "cool" -- and that kids who peak in elementary school might not stay that way.

However, I think most of us know or remember the type: Around fifth grade, kids broke into groups, and there was definitely a "cool" group or boys and girls. My DD is seeing it now. There is a Spring Dance at her school, and there's a clique of boys and girls who are inviting each other. These, by and large, are the popular kids -- whatever popular means, but this is how DD describes it. She is on the fringe of that group, so knows them well enough to know who's asking who, etc., but also really isn't ready for that stuff! She likes American Girl dolls and, having turned 11 last month, really doesn't care about boys (or girls!) in that way yet.

I think my question is more sociological: How do these groups form? There is no common sport or interest that I can see. In the girl group, the moms do hang out, but then -- what makes the moms "cool"? On the boy side, I can't think of what binds them beyond the fact that they play sports,  but other kids not in the group do, too, and the kids involved are all on various teams -- it's not like they all play football together.

I guess I'm just curious as to how these groups form and self-select. I grew up moving a lot so was never privy to the inner working of cliques -- as soon as I figured out the "rules" at one school, we'd move! I find it a combination of fascinating and frightening.

I am lucky that my DD is a floater and seems not to care too much about being fully accepted into any one group, but some of the stories she tells from recess just seem ripped from the book "Queen Bees and Wannabees."

Your thoughts?

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