Reply to What did you think having 3 kids and working full time would be like?

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn't know what it would be like but learned a lot after having one and stopped there. We considered having a second but ultimately we'd rather be sane and like each other, and be able to offer more to our existing kid (including more time with us), then push our luck.

Three sounds absolutely insane to me, at least living in this area and with the current parenting expectations. My parents had three back in the 80s and it was still chaos, but my mom was mostly a SAHM and there were so many things that just didn't exist as an expectation for parents back then. No one cared about screen time for instance -- we watched tons of TV and no one cared. There was no internet and no social media. There was also just generally less awareness of social issues so people didn't worry about parenting around them. No one worried about teaching their kids about consent, or racism, or ablism. We did get some of it, but it wasn't as complex and stressful as it is now. Also less economic pressure -- college was a lot less expensive and the process of applying and going seemed significantly less fraught than it is here, now. There were disappointments and victories, but it didn't have the intensity. Same with grades, activities, sports. What we thought was competitive or intense back then would barely even register now.

When we talked about having a second kid, it was pretty much predicated on us moving out of the DMV for a slower pace of life and a lower cost of living. I think this is a particularly challenging place to raise kids, when I compare to friends and family in other places. There are good things about it too, but they mostly come in the form of great opportunities. The thing about opportunities is that it takes work to take advantage of them. Parents in the DMV are always working so hard at parenting. It's a tough job.[/quote]

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