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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two things, one it is really helpful for discussions  - validate their perspective, some people just cannot hear your point of view until they feel thy have been heard. But you also need to be clearer yourself.  Saying ‘I’d rather not’ is not ‘No’.   Maybe your spouse think you are okay with plan.  [/quote]

I hear what you’re saying, but even when I very explicitly say “no” there’s still conflict. If I say it down the road they’ll say “why did you change your mind”, if I say it early on they’ll say “why do you hate my parents”, “why is this the hill to die on and can’t we do it their way” , etc.

I feel like livestock walking a very narrow electric fence-lined path. ANY variance from “the correct path” I get shocked and we argue for days. It is emotionally draining and suffocating to feel like you can’t express your preferences. [/quote]

You should really divorce now.

This is going to be a nightmare if you ever get pregnant and have a baby. It’s not going to get better. I guarantee if you have kids with this guy you will divorce. Find someone else to build a family with. This guy is still building his parents family. Run! [/quote]

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