Reply to If you had a somewhat absuive elderly parent and you were involved in their life through aging...

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[quote=Anonymous]There’s health care power of attorney, and then there is HIPAA. It makes sense that she does not want to give you health care power of attorney since you disagree so much on what she should do. But all of your siblings and you and aunt etc should have HIPAA. That allows you to talk to the doctor about her care. You don’t get to make decisions, but that way if she has an emergency they can talk to you. Try to see if she can sign that. It’s a simple form that lists all of your names.

Aging in place is generally the best option if you can afford it. The nursing home industry has done a great pr job convincing people otherwise. Most people can’t afford to age in place. 24-7 aides are too expensive. But if she can afford it, she is right to make thwt choice. Especially given covid. But you and your siblings need to drop by a lot. Even though you don’t like her, just drop by unexpectedly, even for twenty minute visits, as frequently as you can. It is good for the aides to know that you might show up anytime with no warning to them.[/quote]

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