Reply to “The Harsh Reality of Gentle Parenting”

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Reply to "“The Harsh Reality of Gentle Parenting”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids are teens and tweens and our circle is mostly composed of internationals working in DC (World Bank, NIH, etc), who never heard about the terms you mention. My only friend who hesitates in saying no to her child, is constantly worried about her self-esteem, and never wants to push her in any way, is an American with a degree in education, who probably spent her formative years with that kind of philosophy and never thought it would backfire. It has, unfortunately. Her child is not resilient in the least, and is now home-schooled because no one in the family could handle  the minor indignities of public middle school - things that my kids and their other friends have weathered fine. The family blames everyone but themselves for the multiple issues that plague their child.

Any parenting philosophy taken to extremes will backfire. It's important to listen and observe and know what makes your child tick, and lean into their strengths. It's also important to challenge them and guide them through obstacles so that they can come out more resilient and with a stronger sense of self. [/quote]

I am not surprised at all and fully agree with your conclusion PP. I will add that i really think children appreciate boundaries. It creates a safe space inside which they can experience their free will at a smaller scale. Kids can get anxious and overwhelmed if they feel too much in charge. It is very stressful to be  responsible for all your decisions and it takes a lot of mind space.

Rules help limit that, not everything is negotiable and need to be decided every day. And that's very relaxing. That's one of the first thing i notice among friends who have a more child led approach than we do. Every step of the day can end up open to negotiation "no sweety, we cannot eat on the floor today". It seems exhausting... I listen to my kid a lot and care about their feelings and opinions. But at the end of the day, yes, on most topics i know better. And I expect them to acknowledge that. [/quote]

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