Reply to How to get comfortable and help with the physical aspects of parents aging?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "How to get comfortable and help with the physical aspects of parents aging?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I remember visiting my grandparents in nursing homes as a kid and having such a hard time with the smell. I would sometimes vomit after the visits and I'm even feeling sick writing this now as those memories are flooding back now that my own parents are getting closer to that age and need more physical help. In the last year my father has deteriorated to the point where he can no longer bathe independently and is incontinent. My mother is his caregiver. They are very reluctant to hire help and don't trust anyone to come for even tasks like housecleaning.

I want to help. I've repeatedly offered to hire help, which would be hard for them to do financially. They turn it down. Don't want any non family members in the house. I live across the country and they didn't want me to leave my small kids and travel during covid to visit. My mom finally asked if I could come and stay for a week to give her a break. I want to say yes. I have been pushing her to take a break. But now I don't think I can physically handle my father's diapers and bathing. I feel like a horrible person. With my active gag reflex, I was worried about my own kids' diapers, but rose to that occasion. Maybe I could get used to it? But selfishly I don't want to. There's the physical reaction and also it feels sad and embarrassing for us both.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have tips? I feel like good elder care nurses and hospice workers are like angels on earth. I wish I could be helpful like that. I just don't feel equipped.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics