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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Given her areas of disability, maybe hiring an executive function coach who can help her with developing systems and planning-so it's not just mom and dad nagging. I think you may be asking for a level of future thinking and planning for which she is not developmentally ready. All you can really do is help her get support and give her time.

It seems like you are engaging in some catastrophic thinking. She is a bright, involved kid, who has successfully held a job. So she doesn't have a portfolio ready, well that means she isn't going to a strong art school, but there are thousands of strong colleges with good art programs she can still apply to, or she can do two years at cc and build her portfolio. [/quote]

+1  I would also suggest you revise your idea of 'success'. Two of my kids have ADHD/anxiety.  Their psychiatrist gave me some great advice - focus on getting them through high school without depression and without a substance abuse issue.  Everything else can be fixed after that.

My oldest (19) is bright but, like your DD, struggled to identify priorities and the 'critical path'.  He also didn't do well connecting current actions with future outcomes or delayed gratification.  He, too, was on therapeutic doses of ADHD/anxiety medications.  Early on in high school, we made clear to him our expectations regarding college - he needed to demonstrate he could be successful living away from home and doing what he needed to do in college.  We then identified what behaviors we needed to see.  It wasn't about maintaining a GPA but about managing his time, completing his assignments on time and self-advocating.  DS had a lot of support but, at the time, he didn't see the importance of demonstrating these behaviors.  As a result, we had little confidence he'd be successful going away for school.  He chose to go to community college rather than join the military or work full time or get an apprenticeship.

Same DS didn't get his drivers' license until he was 18.  When he was in 10th grade drivers ed, he made no effort to get a learner's permit.  We don't [i]need [/i]him to drive.  His senior year, all his friends were driving and he was feeling left behind.  He then made the effort to study and get hours behind the week.

I recognize you want so much for your DD and she's capable of the work.  But, you can't want it more than she does and you can't do the work for her.  Lay out what your expectations/requirements are and make sure she understands them.  You can support her but she needs to demonstrate she's willing to do the work.

Oh - and there's nothing wrong with community college.  I've been really impressed with the in-person instructors and it's excellent, excellent value. My DS has made some nice friends and it's been a positive experience for him.[/quote]

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