Reply to Tell me about your decision to stay put in a neighborhood where you were on the social outs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How small and insular is this neighborhood?

I live in a neighborhood where there is one woman who has hated me for going on a decade (before either of us were married or had kids). I actually lived here before her but she moved here a few years ago and has told numerous people in the neighborhood that she hates me, and also given them a bogus reason for it (the real reason is that she was a pretty crummy friend so I stopped hanging out with her and it hurt her pride and feelings). When this first started happening it was very upsetting to me. I've always gotten along well with people in the neighborhood and this whole thing definitely made me feel like my reputation was being hurt and gave me some paranoia around people, making me wonder if they'd heard her BS and if so what they think of me now. It was stressful enough that I did consider moving for a hot minute.

But this is not an insular neighborhood at all -- it's diverse and dense and not everyone knows each other and I almost never run into her. I think for a moment I felt threatened because we have similar aged kids and that can make the world feel small. But as kids get older this matters less, plus I reminded myself she was lying, and people who lie like this tend to show their true colors to people pretty quick. And I was right. I lost exactly zero friends due to this woman. If there are people who she prejudiced against me, then I probably wouldn't enjoy their friendship anyway because they are gullible and easily swayed. The whole thing is a non-issue.

But I could see this going differently if it was a smaller community and it was hard for us to have our active social life and connections in the neighborhood without running into this woman, or if it was the kind of place where being on a couple people's bad side means you don't have any friends at all.[/quote]

OP here. So, it’s exactly like this. Remarkably similar situation. Except we do have young kids, and it is a pretty insular place. We have lots of friends and activities outside of the neighborhood, but sometimes when I see the other kids playing together with mine not invited, it stings more than I wish it did - I want to get better at detaching. I like our house, our location, everything else. [/quote]

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