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[quote=Anonymous]My 16yo daughter is immature for her age. There are a number of reasons, but at some point, it is what it is.

She is was in a gifted program through middle school. There is often an expectation that gifted girls are mature for their age, but she is not. Because of this expectation, many adults have given her a lot of leniency. Additionally, her friends are gifted and fairly mature, so their parents allow them to make a lot of their own choices.

DH and I are constantly torn on how to raise DD. She basically wants the privileges of being 17/18, but she often acts likes she’s 13. We don’t know when to let her make choices and experience natural consequences or when to make decisions for her.

She doesn’t properly connect the consequences with her actions, though, so she doesn’t learn from them the way we would hope. Also, many consequences affect the whole family, financially or otherwise. Like, maybe she wouldn’t need so much tutoring if she got enough sleep. She has decided she wants to go to art school, but she spends her time on an expensive unrelated EC, and wants to do more of the EC. She wants to learn to drive, but doesn’t meet our base requirements for driving lessons. She says it’s ok because she doesn’t have time for driving lessons anyway.

We’re trying to get all of driver’s Ed done this summer (classroom, on the road, finish 45 parent hours, etc) so it doesn’t interfere with junior year workload. She says she can do even more if her EC next year, because she will be driving by then. HOW. She can’t even park or put the car in reverse yet. How will she be driving and with which car??

Haha, can you tell we had a fight at 6am this morning? But in general, we don’t know when to let her fail and when to step in. Moreover, we don’t know if there’s a way to speed up the maturity process as these are critical years coming up…[/quote]

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