Reply to Can your nanny do things that you, the parent, can’t?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our nanny loves kids and loves spending all day with them. I am not that person. I don't enjoy kids and dread spending entire days with them.[/quote]

Then why on earth did you have kids?  This makes no sense.  You don’t “enjoy kids” but you had them anyway.  That’s probably the most depressing, unsettling thing I’ve read today.  [/quote]

I'm guessing PP will say that they enjoy older kids but just not small kids, but I'm still bothered by this.

I think the act of parenting young children is really important for introducing you to parenting as a role. The reason spending "entire days" with children is hard is that it is challenging to be responsible for someone else's health, well being, emotional stability, etc., 24/7. Yes, it's freaking draining! There are times when it's easier (babies, once napping reliably, are pretty great) and times when it's really hard (2-3 and sometimes 4 is pretty reliably challenging when you are doing full days with them, even when they are great kids -- they just need SO much). But this idea that you can skip that period and still be a good or functional parent? I'm unconvinced. That's when your kids figure out if they can trust you, that you are a place of security and reliability. If you just outsource that to someone else, I think you are setting yourself up for weird and potentially really bad relationships with your kids. Even if you hire a fantastic nanny or nannies and they do a great job raising your children through these more demanding years, and then you send your kids to great schools with nurturing teachers, at some point your child is going to have a problem that requires family support, not hired help. And you will have no basis for helping them through it. It will be isolating for them and they will discover that they are, truly, alone in the universe. Why would you do this to another human being?

My kid knows I'm always there for her. No matter what. She has had nannies and sitters throughout her life, and of course goes to school, but her dad and I are #1 and no matter what she knows she can come to us, whether it's because of a stomach ache or friend problem or she's just feeling sad or lonely. She is not alone in the universe and as long as we're alive, will never be.[/quote]

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