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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]  My whole life my mother has done this and she gushes about the person until mom is dumped by her new found daughter or mom does the dumping. [b]What I came to realize is usually the person had many qualities and life choices she would rip to shreds if they were from me.[/b] I used to take it so personally and wonder what was wrong with me that she could not appreciate what I did for her or who I was. Now that she is older and far crueler to me, I am just glad to hear she still finds people willing to spend time with her since some of her friends are fading away/ disappearing and not due to death or illness. Now that I don't say anything, but "that's wonderful!" and I guess I don't get any anxiety or hurt in my voice, she ups the ante and does an actual comparison for me of why my peer is better better than I am. I don't react and just make an excuse to get off the phone or I don't return the text. Does anyone else's mother do this sort of thing? [/quote]

Yes, I had a mom like that too.   One example I can think of:  When I was in middle school my parents were planning a trip to Belgium--for themselves, of course!  My brothers and I were not included.  Anyway, to prepare for this trip, they took a french class at some local community center, I saw the paper work and it said all ages.  I asked if I could take the class too--and was told of course not.
Once the class started my mom was constantly gushing about a little girl (about a year younger than me) that was in the class.   Wasn't she just amazing for taking a french class at such a young age!   Oh she's just wonderful and SO SMART!  Etc.   After every class they took, I got to hear all about this girl.

Many years later when I was adult, my mom would go on and on about her "work daughter" Katie.    Katie was having problems with her boyfriend and my mom even invited Katie to come live with her and my dad!   [/quote]

OP here. thank you for posting this. "SO SMART" was something I heard a lot about other girls my age from mom. Mom never took it as far as inviting someone to live with her (wow!) what she was definitely far more maternal to these girls than she was to me. [b]Did people back then or now say "I just loooooove your mom!"[/b] [/quote]

Yes!   All the time!  Especially my high school friends.

And that French class thing was just one example--the easiest one to explain because some of the others have long back stories...but ALL THE TIME, I asked to do something and was told no--and then my mom would hear about one of my classmates doing it and go on and on about how wonderful they were![/quote]

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