Reply to Has anyone forgive their ILs and how has it worked out?

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Reply to "Has anyone forgive their ILs and how has it worked out?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW needs to understand there is no going back to normal and she needs to hold the new boundaries she set, gently but firmly and with love.[/quote]

I know the answer will be it depends, but how have couples successfully arrived on what the "new normal" looks like?

I would be fine never interacting with them again but obviously in a marriage that's not realistic and I wouldn't push for that.

DW wants to see them 1-2 times per month for a few days at a time.

1 visit a month? 1 visit every 3 months? Holidays only? Start infrequently and scale up over time if we're both OK with it?[/quote]

I'm confused on how far away her parents are: 2.5 or 4.5 based on your OP. Either way, seeing them 1-2 times per month given how far away they are and for a few days at a time is excessive to me especially if they won't come visit you all.  You are already resenting this and will just resent it more--you will be giving up half your weekends for people you don't particularly like.  God forbid you both have kids at some point--will her parents expect you to forego all of the kids' activities to visit them all the time, too?

OP, do you and your DW have any friends where you live? What do you normally do on your own free time with each other? You all need to find some friends to hang out with and some hobbies and those events will organically eat into IL time/requests.
[/quote]

They moved (first place was 4.5, current is 2.5). We do have a lot of friends but they don't take up our weekends and DW prioritizes family.[/quote]

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