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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 25 year old daughter has been dating a guy for about 8 months now and we feel like he is taking advantage of her and her situation. She is currently in graduate school and we have been generously supporting her, which is where the taking advantage piece comes in. We don’t seem to get all the details, but the boyfriend has been “temporarily” living with her for 4 months after something happened with where he was living. He does have a job, but contributes no rent and doesn’t seem to pay any expenses - we can tell since we are footing all the bills. We are friendly with our daughter’s best friend’s parents who have heard from their daughter that the boyfriend constantly goes out without our daughter multiple night a week.

We’ve tried to talk to her but she gets very defensive. We’ve asked if the boyfriend can contribute some rent or expenses or what he is doing to pay his share, but she makes excuses or doesn’t want to hear it - she claims he is saving up to buy his own place so [b]she is trying to help him out.[/b]

Where do we go from here - don’t want to cut her off but do we hold back money to force him into paying his own way? We also don’t want to cause a rift with our daughter since we have always had a great relationship.  Not sure how to handle this.[/quote]

But it’s not her who is helping him out; it’s you. So you should tell her there are conditions to his living there as long as you’re paying. Whatever those conditions may be are obviously up to you. But your daughter (and of course her BF) are out of line.

Tell her how much you’re willing to contribute and how much you expect him to contribute.[/quote]

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