Reply to ex DH would like to not have formal CS agreement

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[quote=Anonymous]I have had this no papers arrangement for 20 years. Overall, I wouldn’t recommend it.  I was able to do it because I wasn’t married to my ex (engaged but never married).  I had no fear he would take kids out if country.  He had a USG job, so I also didn’t think he would hide i come if I eventually filed.  I did it because he was mentally ill, and I was afraid if i went legal, he would demand 50/50.  I wanted time to establish the kids in my primary custody so that if we went to court, there would be a long history that supported leaving them in my stable care.

TBH, the custody part worked out well. But, financially it wrecked me.  I was at the mercy of what he wanted to pay.  If I challenged that, he was angry at me and that affected my relationship with the kids.

It also made it difficult to plan financially.

And it gave him the idea that he was doing me a favor by paying me what he chose to pay (which was far less than what he should have paid).

At the time, I thought I was trading $$$ for him to still have a relationship with his kid.  TBH, that was not the great trade I thought it was at the time.  He still comes up with all kinds of reasons to cancel his time with them.

If I were you, knowing what I know, I would file. 
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