Reply to s/o if you're on the fence about a second kid...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the post about moms of only children feeling put down by comments of moms of multiple kids got me thinking.  i need to vent a little because i am an only child going through a really difficult time with my mom right now, and i want to provide my perspective to those of you who are on the fence about a second child.  and this really is for folks on the fence-not people who physically or financially or emotionally or for any other reason can't or don't want a second.  i'm not here and certainly don't want to make anyone feel bad about having only one kid...i had a happy childhood as an only and know plenty of only kids who likewise were/are happy.  but, if you're on the fence and are able, please have a second kid.  not so much for when they're young, but more for when you get old.  dealing with ill and aging parents is hard work and having to do it alone has been crushing.  i know it wouldn't have been a guarantee that my siblings (if i'd had any) would have been helpful in the current crisis, but there's a chance that they would have been able and willing to share this burden with me.  the prospect of 30+ years being the sole caretaker for my mom is so daunting, and i long for a sibling more now that i ever did as kid.[/quote]

OP I'm so sorry for your situation but I must say... my grandma had 10 children 8 are alive today. She's 80yo, widowed for the past 18 years. She was the only caretaker from my grandpa during his illness - he was bed-bound for 8 years before his death. We (me, my mom, my dad (their son) and my brother) moved to their town to be close by and to help my grandma with driving them around but my grandma was the only one taking real care of him every day.

Now, she's still independent but my father and his older sister are the only children who visit her regularly. They did such an amazing job raising my uncles and aunts during a time of very difficult economy in our country including war and still the children all followed their own path and never came back home.

Just having more children doesn't necessarily mean they'll come back to help you out when you need it.[/quote]

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