Reply to SIL having several baby showers for 2nd baby - am I supposed to send gifts to all of them?

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[quote=Anonymous]SIL is pregnant with #2. For a variety of reasons, she got rid of all her baby stuff from #1. She says she didn't have room to store it all (understandable) but having known her for the better part of 20 years, I also know that she is bit materialistic and likes "all new."

For baby #1, I hosted her a baby shower and helped make sure she got all the necessary big ticket items that she wanted. She makes a comfortable income but for all of her showers or gift requests (wedding showers, baby shower and Christmas/birthday "lists") she asks for items that are outside the price point that she'd buy for herself. That's not my style but I've tried to accept that she and I do things differently. But this time, it's really bothering me. Especially because I've offered to pass along things (like carseat) from our 2nd. She claims it won't fit in one of their cars and they need a different one, that is significantly more $$$ than my Chicco that fit in the back of small sedan.

For baby #2 she is having several showers hosted by her husband's family and in different locations based on friend groups. I'm invited to all of them even tho they are several hours away (one of them being 4 hours away and I don't know anyone except her). Her registry again has some big ticket items that are higher than what she'd buy if she had to buy for herself.

I want to celebrate my future niece/nephew but all the showers feels like a total gift grab for big ticket items she won't buy herself. She knows we are able to buy nice gifts but I'm not feeling it. I also know she'll turn around and resell them in a few months when she's done (as opposed to donating, which I personally think you should do with items gifted to you). Years ago I bought her a high end purse for a milestone bday that she went on and on about wanting. She resold it within a year because "it was too heavy."

I'm venting the void of the unanimous internet and asking for permission to not attend the showers and only buy 1 gift (and possibly another for her child #1: for becoming a "big"). [/quote]

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