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[quote=Anonymous]I feel mom guilt sometimes, but it's because of my impatient or irritable moments with my child.

I rarely feel the kind of mom guilt you're talking about, where I feel bad for getting a pedicure or waiting until the last minute to pick up my kid from daycare or going to a resort with my DH for a weekend. I firmly agree with Ayelet Waldman who said "love your husband more than your children" and I try to put my marriage first, and to a lesser extent, take care of myself. I've never skipped a shower or meal because of having a child. I'm not a mean or cold mom but I definitely put my needs high up and the needs of my marriage even higher, and I think it is ultimately good for the family to have a nourished mom and a nourished marriage as its foundation. My DD, fwiw, seems extremely happy and secure. We keep it balanced, too -- we don't have a team of nannies raising our children with us jetting off out of sight; we just have regular dates/couple experiences and on family vacations, we tend to do what we want to do (with our kid in tow) rather than trek to Disney World.

I have always felt this way. To be frank, I think it's because - while I had the strong urge to have a child *with* my husband - I did not have a strong urge to have children before meeting him. I find kids adorable and heart-wrenchingly innocent from a distance/in the abstract (e.g. the photos of Ukrainian kids in the news are gutting me and I walk by babies and think they're cute). But I'm not a play-on-the-floor, hands-on kid person and I don't like noise/chaos/disruption, so I'm very comfortable living a more adult-led life.[/quote]

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