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[quote=Anonymous]We have a 6 year gap between our two girls and the younger one idolizes the older one, but the older one really struggles with the younger one. They are currently almost 10 and almost 4, and beyond the fighting and rivalry (younger one doesn’t want to share and older one is annoyed the little one gets into her stuff and is generally annoying), the older one has been having a very hard time with the younger one getting more attention and feels she isn’t getting enough alone time with us parents. Because the younger one needs help with things like getting dressed, eating and isn’t always great at playing alone for extended periods of time, I can understand how it feels like she gets more attention and try to explain it won’t always be this way. And, sometimes we have to cater activities toward the little one who can’t always do the same things as the older one, and frankly isn’t vaccinated so we are less interested in doing indoor activities with her right now.

DH and I both work full time and I think a big part of this stems from us returning to the office and work ramping up, so we can’t pick the older one up after school and spend a little time together at home which we had been doing. That said, DH and I each leave work early one day a week to pick her up from an after school activity and take her home. Additionally, her sibling goes to sleep at 7:30 every night and she goes to bed at 9 so she does have an hour and a half with just us. We offer to play games or do something with her but 90% of the time she wants to watch TV, play in her iPad or FaceTime a friend. DH also takes the younger one to a class Saturday mornings so DD and I do get 2 solid hours together.

Older DD recently made comments to DH’s and my parents about how she feels like we don’t care about her as much anymore and she never really spends time with just us. They pulled us aside to say she genuinely seems sad and that we should try to find a way to dedicate more time to just her.

I am upset that she is so sad about this but don’t know how to make the situation better. We only have so many hours in the day, and I don’t want to spend weekends mostly divided with one parent spending time with each and then switching off.

Curious if anyone else with a large age gap has had this issue and how much alone time you try to have with each kid. Any other advice or thoughts?[/quote]

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