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[quote=Anonymous]How do you deal with racist comments from your parents (specifically when involving your children, their grandkids)?
Example: I'm white, my kids are mixed race (I'll just say my husband is not Asian).
On the phone several weeks ago, my mom made a comment about my husband's "Chinese eyes." I was kind of taken aback and was just like, "Um, okay, he's not Chinese..." Mentioned it to my husband who did not like it and we kind of laughed about the innocent racism; they don't realize it; they're not trying to be racist.
Now my parents are visiting us for a week, my mom makes the comment again but about my daughter, "She has Chinese eyes, I just love her Chinese eyes," and first of all this isn't something I want my daughter repeating on the playground, so I tell my mom to please don't say that, and she says, "Oh, okay, what am I supposed to say, 'almond eyes'?" I say yes, figured it was dropped.
Well today she made the comment again and I almost BLEW it. I don't want that phrase to be used, it's a racist phrase, she defends herself saying she's not racist, I retort I'm not calling you racist, just don't use that phrase because it does come across racist, and my children who are a whole other ethnicity have to endure similar kinds of comments on the playground and I'm wanting to teach them never to make a comment to someone like that - I tried explaining everything of what we've gone through and then trying to explain how generalizing these shaped eyes as "Chinese eyes" can be very insensitive...

Long story short she is so incensed we don't just listen to HER and we're all so easily offended and blah blah blah, she doesn't feel welcome in our home, made a sort of threat that she wouldn't be coming back because she doesn't want to be censored...
Agh I so badly want to think of her as empathetic and willing to learn but she just refuses!!
- help???[/quote]

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