Reply to What’s fair—expectation vs reality when parents/ILs live far away?

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[quote=Anonymous]Regarding Christmas we have local family (parents who moved here to be near us and help us) and family who lives in their hometown. We put our foot down after our first born's 2nd Christmas and said we're spending it at home, anyone who wants to join can. Local family is at my house at 7am Christmas morning with bells on. I think if the other parents came, I'd have no problem with them staying at my house for Christmas and I do wish they'd come (better than the alternative of us traveling!). I like a loud, wild, and full house on Christmas eve and morning.

Early on, before parents moved to DC, we said we'd only give out of town family one trip a year. So we go to my parents' hometown to visit my grandparents, parents, my sibling, and all extended family once a year. Inlaws are closer and within driving distance so we go 4x a year, but don't use annual leave. We go on 3 day weekends and such.

My inlaws are talking about moving far away to Arizona (they were looking at houses) and I flat out told them that we'd be disappointed they'd be so far and I also told them we'd only be able to visit once a year. They had visions in their heads of holidays and grandkids visiting all winter long... DH wouldn't say anything, so I felt like I had to set expectations. [/quote]

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