Reply to What’s fair—expectation vs reality when parents/ILs live far away?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're using a lot of "seems to think." Have you actually sat down with your husband and a calendar to map out what a year would look like? And you're firm on the ILs staying in a hotel when they visit -- is your husband? Are you ILs?

It doesn't matter what the rest of us do (from smug "We cherish our family time, and that includes the grandparents" to smug "We both have spines and have told our parents they will only get X amount of our time" to smug "I cherished every moment of my time with my parents who are now dead and I would give anything to have that time back").

Also, when you're coming up with imaginary schedules with your spouse, realize that things are going to be changing soon and often: teenagers with jobs, teenagers who want to hang out with their friends, teenagers looking at colleges, college students who have school when you'd arrange a visit, etc)[/quote]
Thanks for your reply.

We have sat down in a very preliminary way. I don’t know what it should look like and honestly, it’s a little scary to me. It feels a little like now at least part of our year will be dictated to spending time in San Diego. We aren’t poor but we aren’t super wealthy, and I just worry we will be forced now to make cuts to afford these plane tickets every year. But you make some really valid points about the kids that I hadn’t considered. I think DH is mostly shocked and his head is going a million miles a minute trying to figure out a perfect plan NOW! [/quote]

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