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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds aggrieved. Genuine source of conflict? Money is a common one.  Yet that really has no correlation to a MIL.[/quote]

OP here the wasting of money directly correlates.   Just absolutely no respect for money.   housekeeper 2 times a week at 360, starbucks twice a day, 150 a week on exercise classes(we have full home gym and 300 a month gym membership) electric bill 1000 a month, amazon boxes every day.   spends 6-700 a week on groceries and throws away a ton of it.  This is real money being wasted, 30k plus a year or more with no real improvement to quality of life.  The correlation is we watched her mom do this about ten years ago and it really bothered my wife, now here we are.  Oh and auto insurance is 700 a month now because of 3 at fault fender benders she has had in last 2 years, basically hit parked cars.[/quote]

Housekeeper clearly improves QOL (maybe not yours if you wouldn’t do the work she’s doing if she stopped coming). Spending so much on exercise tracks for someone who is trying to fight back all the things aging brings. Not sure what she’s doing to waste money on electrical bill. Obviously the car accidents weren’t wasted money exactly, but sounds like the result of either high stress distractedness or else perimenopause brain fog.

I think the story you’re currently telling yourself (“this is just like her mother!”) are extremely unhelpful and damaging to your marriage. You just described a long list of things that sound consistent with someone who is really really struggling and doing anything she can to keep it together (including making the helpful choice of exercising regularly which is supportive of good mental and physical health). This has truly nothing to do at all with your MIL and everything to do with your wife. Stop pulling back and judging her. [/quote]

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