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Reply to "s/o finding a half sibling placed in adoption"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, putting your info on Ancestry is fine but understand there could be some collateral damage from that fact. My dad, who is into genealogy, convinced me to do Ancestry. I had no problem with that. Then a couple of years later, I had a weird match. Well...turns out my mother gave a baby up for adoption in the late 60s, before she met my father. My mother and father both knew this and were never going to tell me (an only child) until things showed up on Ancestry. (And yes, I guess they didn't think their plan through.) I am in contact with my half-sister, who knew she was adopted and is a lovely person. My parents no longer speak of her or of what happened (swept back under the rug). But it all really threw me for a loop and it's taken a couple of years of therapy to work through the aftermath. Logically I can understand why they kept it from me, but emotionally it's been really hard. My trust and my relationship with them is not the same as before. I wonder what else they are not telling me. I get angry that, even if they waited to tell me when I was an adult, I could've known my sister for 20 years by now rather than 2. And finally I'm pissed that they dropped a bomb on me then left me to deal with it alone. I just wanted to share my experience as an innocent party who was affected by all of this. I guess I could have not done the DNA but I had no reason to believe it would blow things up.[/quote] Your issue is with the secret keeping, the people keeping the secret, not the secret itself. The days of secrets are over. [/quote]
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