Reply to s/o finding a half sibling placed in adoption

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, hello!  I am delighted to type this tonight as I’m driving 5 hours tomorrow to spend the weekend with my sister, who my mom was forced to give up for adoption in 1965.  (It’s actually even worse than that, as the nuns had told my mom she was a he and that he likely wouldn’t survive.) I spent many years chasing possible leads…Catholic Charities, death certificates, voter registration databases.  It was complicated by the fact that my mother still was SO torturously guilty about the birth defects she was told he had , that she was ambivalent about me searching.  Sadly, she died soon before we finally made the connection via Ancestry DNA.

My (half) sister did not join Ancestry with the determined purpose of finding my mom.  She was curious to know what her genetic background was (Irish or Italian or what) and knew that it was a possibility she would find genetic relatives.  It was amazing to log on one day and see “close relative” listed, and through her birthdate know it was the child my mom never even got to hold.

Since then, it has been such a joy.  We have visited each other often.  We vacationed together the summer before COVID.  Her children are grown and enjoy having new cousins.  She and her husband are wonderful aunt and uncle to my young son…his favorites now.  Her daughter looks so much like my mom.  And sometimes we just look at each other, marveling.  There are no Hugh expectations.  We don’t talk every day.  We text every week or so.  It’s just a joyful addition to our lives.  I love her.

I definitely recommend Ancestry.  Someone die-hard looking will obviously be on GEdMatch.  But someone like my sister, who was open to connecting but not really looking, would be more likely to be found on Ancestry.

I wish you luck!  And I wish you the joy and fulfillment that finding my sister has brought to our families. [/quote]

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