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[quote=Anonymous]I used to think if a parent was estranged from adult kids it was definitely BC the parent was the bad guy so to speak.  But now my young adult daughter is going this direction.

She struggled with some depression in HS, but resisted therapy.  She was generally well functioning with friends good grades etc.  She went to uni and graduated a year ago.  She is now a young adult working in the real world.  He worked through hs, college and kept jobs for a long time (over a year.). Employers, teachers etc always liked her.  In current job she seems to be doing well.  Dating a little, a couple close friends etc
  
She finally wanted to go to counseling a year ago, which we thought was great.  She likes his counselor a lot and they have been dredging up and analyzing childhood.  Childhood was normal.  Bedtime stories, family trips, music lessons, private school, family dinner at night, parents who got along well.

Her grandmother was an alcoholic who died years ago.  Growing up we had a limited relationship with Grandma BC and my kids only saw her with us there, when she was sober.  My adult kids aunts and uncles, half of them are nice normal people but half of them (2), who were the product of an alcoholic family are toxic bitter people who we generally avoid but just see once a year at family weddings etc.

In analyzing her childhood she has determined that she needs to set healthyboundaries and will be cutting her off from everyone in the next few months.  I got confused and asked her if she meant everyone incl the good kind family members.  She says yes.  She also said she'll be cutting herself off completely from us as we are part of the problem by association.  She can't seem to compartmentalize people.  Her therapist is apparently in support of healthy boundaries.  I should add that daughter lives at home and us getting ready to move out, which we thought was great and we offered to help with security or downpayment.  She's talked about cutting ties with everyone and she is bitter that she was born into a family with some dysfunction.  She says she was born into the wrong family anyway.  Whole she says all this she's upset and angry and thinks everyone else has perfect families.

I was so shocked but said I support her choices for boundaries and although it makes me very sad, this is her adult decision and door is always open, and we love her.

She legit will go through with this and I am rather devastated.  What are your thoughts?  It seems pretty extreme to me.

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