Reply to I don’t know if having another child is the right decision

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[quote=Anonymous]I am mid-thirties and remarried - my DH is 40, was married for a long time but had no kids.  He really wants to have a bio child.  I have two children from a previous marriage (5 & 7), and am in a contentious and protracted custody battle with my ex-husband.  My ex was and is abusive and we are not able to coparent whatsoever.  My heart breaks constantly for my children.  I love them to bits and have really tried to make the most out of a miserable situation with their dad.

I am very conflicted about having another baby.  I have asked, in general terms, how the kids would feel about me having another baby.  They say they would be excited - but they’re little kids.  I’m afraid it would create resentment and jealousy on their part, and also might complicate my family law matters.  My DH adores and is great with my kids, but I’m afraid adding another baby would/could create division. Also, the idea of starting over with the baby phase is unappealing to me for a number of reasons (mainly sleep deprivation) and I also have concerns about my career. (Although we are quite comfortable, this is in large part due to my DH’s career.  I was a SAHM in my previous marriage and have just started a new career. I do not want to be a SAHM again and am worried about how we will divide household labor.)

I’m very conflicted and really don’t know what the right decision will be.  Would appreciate any feedback, thank you. [/quote]

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