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[quote=Anonymous]   Thinking about my own mother I was trying to figure out why she says and does so many cruel things and then complains when we don't want to spend time with her. She has lost friendships because of her baiting, quick temper, etc. I was reading about how things like anger can give people a dopamine hit. I think for my mother creating drama gives he way more satisfaction than having meaningful connection. I think she loves the power to get a reaction and she gets high off of people reacting. She rages pretty easily and I think there must be something really reinforcing about becoming hysterical.

I was thinking about all this because she had a volatile relationship with my dad and since he died she is much crueler to me, but incredibly needy. I gray rock her and she just is almost like a junkie trying to get me to react so she can rage more and then call up a bunch of people and complain. It just pushes me away more and she rages at me for not doing what she wants and rages more when I don't react. If she could just be consistently pleasant and even tempered i would want to see her and it dawned on me that she may desperately want a good fight. I think I could have somewhat of a relationship with her before my dad died because she got her fix of screaming, dramatics, etc with him. When she got too hurtful with me, he intervened so she never took it to this level.

Do you think there is a reinforcing aspect to these traits? Maybe it's addictive to create chaos and evoke strong emotions?[/quote]

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