Reply to Custody Q: one Aspergers parent and 1 aspergers kid

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[quote=Anonymous]Same question but kickoff question.
I have told him (HFa ASD husband, work addict) we need to separate many times over the last few years. It would be best for the kids not to be in this environment- eggshells, outbursts, neglect, silent father sitting on the couch. He would instantly yell at me or cry. Things like “how could you do this to the kids,” or “I’m never leaving this house, it is my house.”

This year I brought it up as an individual subject, how it’d be best for him and everyone to separate, he should come and get the kids when he can “be his best self,” every other weekend and maybe a dinner night. He said he’d think about it.

Well he hasn’t.  I asked him a few weeks later what he had thought about and he flippantly said, he didn’t, and then made an excuse like he didn’t think I was serious.

Well I am serious.  The kids are in a dysfunctional household and see extremely bad habits from their father.

Is this type able to mediate?

Does this type want 50/50 or not?

Does this type do ok during custody time?

Am I missing any other way the kids will suffer when with him? (Besides he’s forgetful, doesn’t talk much, late, loses stuff, lots of accidents)..

Kids are elementary school. I don’t think there’s any scenarios worse than the dysfunction we are currently living with and seeing from him when he is around. He ignores us all and makes messes, can’t even watch a kid for 20 mins if I step out. [/quote]

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