Reply to Husband twisting himself into a pretzel to avoid my mom

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. To answer some questions:

To be clear, I have taken my kid to see my mom, and he gets pissed about that! Hence the "I'm never invited" comment. He IS invited, he just chooses not to go and is rewriting history to be that he wasn't invited.

My mom has invited him. She's tried over the years to make amends. In that way only, she's "better" than he is here. She reaches out to him and tries. He ignores.

And yes, his parents have caused some major issues - I mean MAJOR issues like declaring we were out of their will because I forgot to call MIL on her birthday (she has since passed away) and I have always done everything I can to smooth things over. To the point where I literally forced my husband to go see her (all of us) when I had the bad feeling she wasn't going to make it. He wanted to put it off until it was more convenient for him. We left the next day, saw her, and she died two days later.

For me (and I get this is ME, not him) you go the extra mile with family. Not to be a doormat, but the extra mile in forgiveness and grace. We spend our whole lives interacting with one another; we're going to screw up every now and then so a little grace goes a long way.

But he doesn't see it that way and I get that.

OK, yet another family event solo, while he gets me at his side for every important event... But I do hear you and thank you for your perspective.

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