Reply to Husband twisting himself into a pretzel to avoid my mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Long story short, there's some bad blood there. They both acted horribly, put me squarely in the middle, and I'm at my wit's end. Husband acted so horribly years ago, mom reacted in a way that I warned would likely not be forgiven, and that's what's happened. So here were are, years later....
So mom is having a milestone birthday. He's managed to avoid all celebrations because my mom tends to come to us, but we (my siblings) want to have a party for her at her house, out of state. 
Husband refuses to go.
H: I've never been invited. Ever. In eight years. (She moved to this house 3 years ago, and prior to that was a 5 hour drive away, which he always refused to go to.)
Me: Untrue, you've chosen not to go. But even if true, you're being invited now and very much welcomed and wanted there.
H: I don't want to travel by plane.
Me: I didn't realize that was a concern. We should really rethink our plans to visit to Europe this summer (which takes place before the party would).
H: I don't want to travel domestically.
Me: I honestly don't understand that. 
H: I refuse to wear a mask on a domestic flight.
Me: So wearing a mask for 2.5 hours is out of the question, but 9 hours is fine?
H: Yes.

This conversation actually took place.

So my question is this - do I just give up? Like this is never going to happen. They will never be OK and I should be OK with them never being OK? OR continue to try to make him realize that he also behaved horribly, they're both wrong, and I'm sick of being in the middle of a years-long feud?? I see his father regularly (out of town but in same state, about a three hour drive). So what's happening is my kid is getting a very skewed idea of what grandparent "matters" and what's why I'm trying to push this, but it might just be time to give up when someone uses such drivel as an excuse.

Any advice??
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Imagine you being a husband and trying to push wife into celebrating a MIL she detest and was wronged by, your husband feels the same way. Dont push him, let him be.[b] You go and have fun[/b].[/quote]
I agree with the conclusion but wow what an awful analogy. Of course wife/DIL would be forced to be the better person and play nice. That's not a hard scenario to imagine.  
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