Reply to Struggling After Best Friend Breakup...When Will I Feel Better?

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Reply to "Struggling After Best Friend Breakup...When Will I Feel Better?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My closest friend and I grew apart when we moved to different places and she found new best friends. We continued to be in almost daily touch via text for years, but eventually I realized that she was making no effort to talk on the phone and see each other...and when I came to see her, she wasn't really into it.

I cut down on the daily texts, because they made me miss the friendship we used to have, and I was tired of her ignoring my suggestions of getting together or having a phone chat (as she gushed about her travels and get-togethers with her new friends). I don't necessarily blame her for moving on...we've both changed, and maybe those changes are too great for us to stay close. But she wants a casual text buddy and I'm not interested in that type of relationship, for both emotional and practical reasons: it was really hard for me to find time for all those texts in between a demanding job, young kids, etc.

With the time I've freed up from the texts, I'm trying to pursue new friendships. But everyone's a busy working mom, COVID limits things to some extent, there are a lot of people that I just don't click with (i.e., we'll hang out, but it's surface-level). In summary, I'm nowhere near another close friendship. I feel really sad at times and really miss having a close friend that I could talk to about literally anything, who knew me and understood me intimately (and I knew and understood her too).

I feel like I'm posting too much on here instead of having real relationships - because at least you can say whatever you want and get honest advice and it feels more real than the same introductory conversations or talking about kids or the weather or whatever.

Is there anything I can do to carry me through until I can find another close friend? I'm sure it could be a year or more, but I don't want to be sad for that long. I've always had a best friend (not this particular woman -- different people have played that role at different phases in my life, but I've always had someone to share everything with and talk to every day). I don't really know how to NOT have a BFF, like I have this need for regular connection, and my other friends are more of the "catch up every month" type. (And none of them really get me in the way that my BFF did, so I feel like I'm just comparing them to her and being frustrated that they don't match up). My DH is great, but it's not fair to lean on a partner to fulfill all your social/emotional needs.[/quote]

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